Thursday, November 10, 2011

Be Yourself

Having received such positive feedback on previous posts, I thought I'd go ahead and include (yet another) tune of the day.  And FYI, I'm always open to sharing and exploring new artists, so if you have suggestions (of any kind) shoot them my way.

That being said, if you're NOT interested in the tune (which is perfectly okay), then please feel free to skip down to the post below.

Tune of the day:

Gary Go - "Wonderful"

One of the reasons I really love listening to this song by Gary Go is because it offers a powerful reminder of something I often forget. I am *bleepin'* WONDERFUL! And I don't mean that in a rude, narcissistic, in your face, look-at-me-I'm-so-pretty sort of way. But more in the, "Hi, I'm Blaire! And I'm ready to kick some major LIFE butt and take some names. Are you in?"

Now while this may all come across as a little frou-frou and cookie cutter, believe me when I say there is definitely another half to this.  It's really sort of funny to me because even at the age of twenty-eight I still find myself battling some of the same issues and doubts that I had as a teen. With some of the things I was once (and sometimes still am) awful about doing, are things like being overly harsh, judgmental and critical of myself.  "I wish I had a better body...I wish my thighs were skinnier...Why is my nose so big...I hate my hair, it's disgusting!...I wish I were smarter, prettier, and more talented." 

I mean it just NEVER seemed to end. And when I think about it, all I want to do is yell at that version of myself (both then and now) and simply say...STOP IT! And maybe throw in a good SLAP! for clarity.

And yes, while some of the media may have had a great deal of influence on me back then, I will also tell you that the other hand responsible for tightening the life draining noose around my neck was in many ways my own.  Due to the fact that I wasn't exactly surrounding myself with some of the most positive people out there.  I remember how powerful that feeling of desperation was, of wanting to belong and fit in, to be liked by that special guy.  How there would be moments when I would feel so irrationally driven to make myself known, to be liked, to be found pretty, or to have that special someone notice me that day. And ultimately find myself doing things that I really didn't want to do, but out of the fear of being labeled weird, or worse being an outcast and rejected, did them anyway. It was like I was consumed with this bottomless hunger for acceptance.  And though I wasn't actively pursuing being the school Homecoming Queen or anything like that.  The pressure of it all simply got to me just as I'm sure it got to all the "popular kids" I desperately wanted to be accepted by.  

Even now it seems kind of weird, and honestly a little embarrassing to admit (especially at my age), that I still sometimes feel like that teenager back in middle school and high school. Wanting to be accepted and liked, wanting to fit in.

Basically the same old problems, just a different playground.

But when it comes to my life, my writing and finding inspiration, because I don't believe inspiration is strictly designated to only the writer in me, I feel I also need to be better about nurturing and inspiring every part of my life, not just the writer side.  Trying to be a person who is more intentional about finding the right mojo for my life, by making decisions that will help push me to fully live out my dreams and potential.  I think its very important that we each find a positive source of energy that we can feed from in our daily lives.  For me that source comes in a variety of forms.  One being music, another is films, and the most important one being, AUTHENTIC people. And for me those are people who are motivated in their lives (which is one of many reasons I love writers), they possess a genuine kindness and desire to share with others, and are people who in their way enhance your life instead of drains it.  

And while I know it's virtually impossible for every person in your life be THIS particular person. I do think it important that everyone has someone (or multiple someones) that they can go to when they need to, someone they can talk to or be around without fear of judgment and rejection.  Persons that KNOW & BELIEVE in you and see just how WONDERFUL you are just because you're YOU.  And I realize this may all sound pretty cheesy pie and corny, but I honestly believe it, so that's why I say it.  

Well, I think I've bored enough of you for the day. So until next time...

Happy Writing & Happy Reading! ;)


  1. What a great post! Very candid and oh-so-relatable. Isn't it funny how our teenage years leave such an impression on us? I turned 30 this year, and I can still remember how it felt to expereince the same feelings and issues you talked about. (maybe that is why I write YA) Anyway, I wanted to say that I really enjoyed this post. And I enjoy your blog in general! Keep it up, Blaire!

  2. Sorry to tell you this but these issues continue the rest of your life. I guess they are part of all of our make up. Even at my age sixty one I have days of the same doubts and why nots. But now I can tell myself forget it and walk away. We can only change so much in our lives and we have to learn to accept that. We pick ourselves up and go on. Have a fantastic day and remember there is only one of you.

  3. I hear from almost all my friends that once you turn 30 things start to calm down and fitting in doesn't seem quite so important. I've got one year to go, you've got two. I think we can make it. :) Great post.