Don't Be Afraid To Challenge Yourself

Something some of you may not know about me is that I have a strangely irrational love/fascination for sailing and old wooden sailboats.  Yes, I know.  It's weird.  But seriously, I buy calendars, I have screen savers,  I even find myself sneaking onto Google and searching for little interesting facts and drooling over photographs.

Honestly, I have know idea where this fascination came from being that 1) I've never set foot on a sailboat, wooden or otherwise and 2) I've never even seen the ocean.  *covers face in shame*


I KNOW! It's totally lame.


Alas, this is one of the sad truths of my life (for now at least).  But nonetheless, over the years I've come to have quite an unrequited love of this unique (and from what it appears) nearly lost art form of sailing and wooden sailboats.  In my mind there is simply something completely romantic and timeless and dangerously adventurous about them and everything they represent.  In my mind they represent a time when the true journey and discovery of ones worth were based on the challenges you chose to face. No matter the risk and often without fully knowing the exact outcome of your course.  It was about the work and effort that was required and put forth without the guarantee of ever finding that treasure or reaching that destination.  For there is always something to be said about the process of learning to master something, especially something as majestic as one of these sailboats out on the unpredictable high seas (do they still call it that, the 'high seas'?).

But the fact is just like any challenge or project we take on in our lives there is always the initial fear of the unknown that we must inevitably face.  Especially when many of us take on this idea that if something is truly meant to be in our lives then it should undoubtedly come easily to us. Or we take that as "proof" that it's simply not meant to be.  Well what I have to say to that is...*pinch, slap, poke* WAKE UP!!!  Unless you're Aladdin with Robin Williams doing voice over for your blue genie in a bottle, than nothing could be further from the truth.  While some people may be gifted with a certain talent and skill that surpasses others that alone does not guarantee success.

Just like with a sailboat I know that there are things that I will need to learn and be trained on in order to better understand the parts and the proper way to sail. That is, if my true intent is to master this skill in order to (hopefully) one day achieve the experience that I've long sought.  Because I'm pretty sure if I were to simply run out this moment and jump onto one of this magnificent structures I would quickly find that I have KNOW IDEA what the heck I'm doing or how it even works.  In other words, I'm ultimately setting myself up for a big disappointment and more than likely failure.  Unfortunately, simply loving and possessing some secret passion for something isn't usually enough.  For just because you love something doesn't mean there won't be challenges to face in the process.

And I hate to admit it, but sometime when I feel like something will be too much of a challenge for me I'll immediately want to back off.  Because in most cases I'm afraid of failing, but not only am I afraid of failing, but even more so of realizing that eventuality of void and listlessness that would come when a long held dream is ultimately loss.  What would I do if I felt I could no longer write? A truly scary thought for me.

But as the old adage goes, "Nothing in life worth having is ever easy...."

Just like any pursuit in life, our dreams and passions require (and deserve) the same sort of diligence and focus that we give to the other facets of our lives.  Whether its education, sports, a hobby...all these things typically require time in training, practicing discipline or some sort of conditioning.  Have you ever heard of any gold medalist in the Olympics boasting afterward of never having to train a day in their life to get where they are? NO! So what makes you think you should be any different in your writing, your art, hobby, or any other pursuit in your life?

I wrote a post not too long ago called What would you do if you weren't afraid?  And I think I want to pose this question again...if fear were completely removed from your mind what would TODAY look like in your mind?  What would your future look like?

In mine...I would finally have my day on one of these beautiful boats after the proper attitude adjustment, training, discipline and conditioning.  Oh, and OF COURSE to be a published author!

Now whether these experiences will in the end live up to my dreams or expectations, who knows...but I believe one of the really great things about having dreams and passion is that they can still be exactly what we need them to be, despite what we might initially think or expect of them.

Happy Writing, Happy Reading!

And FYI! If any of you lovely readers are interested in helping this land fairing lame-o find her sea legs...please give me a shout!

Happy Sailing!

The Balancing Act

With things going so great with my writing and the mojo fairy practically shacking up in my apartment these days, you'd think my life would finally have found a natural, harmonious rhythm.  But instead I find myself creeping around feeling incredibly guilty, because it never fails that when one area of my life begins to go great another area undoubtedly goes to the poop bowl.

Why this happens?  I'm sure there's a laundry list of reasons that could be thrown up on the drawing board...lack of discipline, laziness, over committing, laziness, poor time management, laziness...

Life 101: With the PEANUTS Gang

Growing up a favorite pass time of mine was reading Charles M. Schulz’s PEANUTS comic strip, and watching The Charlie Brown Show.  Not only was it always-great entertainment, but there was always some meaningful lesson to be learned from the poor, despondent, “loveable loser” Charlie Brown, his diverse group of friends, and his trusty sidekick and spunky pet, Snoopy (who was always my personal favorite).

But now, reading the strips and watching the episodes it's almost sort of odd how I can totally relate, as both an adult and writer, with some of the common daily trials poor Charlie Brown and his friends seem to find himself fretting about in their lives.  The constant battle with the fear of feeling good enough, well liked, appreciated, wanted, admired, and just capable of obtaining success and being the best.   But I think one of the most important lessons we really take from the PEANUTS gang is the importance of keeping and surrounding ourselves with positive supportive friends.  Because despite ALL the obstacles and failures, Charlie Brown and his gang of misfits always pushed each other to never give up, to always keep trying, and to always strive to be the best version of themselves that they could be (whatever that may be) even in the face of possible failure, which in life is a VERY big lesson to learn early on.  But something else that always sort of inspired me, and I really enjoyed about the PEANUT stories, was there wild and sometimes completely outrageous scope of imagination.  From them I learned that it's okay to be open to the limitless possibilities of our dreams...and I haven't stopped dreaming ever since. 

So for those of you who actually read or watched the PEANUTS, I’m curious to know, which PEANUTS character are you?

Personally, I think the quirky and overly active imaginative SNOOPY is more my style. And because I'm sort of obsessed with clips and Youtube, here's one of my favorite peanut gang clips! You know, I really do believe that sometimes it's just good life therapy to cut loose and get caught up in the moment. Don't you?! 

HAPPY WRITING & HAPPY READING!

What would you do if you weren't afraid?

In a recent article published in The New Yorker titled “A Woman’s Place” a question was posed that completely stopped me in my tracks and had me searching for answers. 

What would you do if you weren’t afraid?

Now for the rare few in life, this is a question that they embrace as a daily call to action.  But so often for the rest of us, when we wake each morning and make plans, set goals or take on the really important decisions such as should I attend college, what college should I attend, what career path should I take? It’s often with these sorts of premeditated questions that some of us also set limits for our lives.  Limits that tell us that there is only so far we can go and only so much success we can achieve in our lives.  And so we give ourselves permission to set “standard” expectations, which later soothes our conscience when we meet these expectations and then allows us to reasonably argue the case that “Hey, at least I’m doing something.” 

And I will readily admit that I have been guilty of hiding behind this frame of thought, often approaching a new idea with the pre-determined mindset that I would rather set my standards low, than push myself and risk having the burden of a failure on my conscience.

But if you were to completely remove the “fear factor” out of the equation, where would you be?  How far could you go if you approached each day ready to take on the world with a mindset absent of fear?  What would your future, what would your world look like with that frame of possibility?

In her commencement address to the 2011 graduating class of Barnard College, Facebook Chief Operating Officer, Sheryl Sandberg offered these words for thought.  

Sheryl Sandberg - Facebook COO

“We try at Facebook to keep all of our employees thinking big all day.  We have these posters in red we put around the walls.  One says, “Fortune favors the bold.”  Another says, “What would you do if you weren’t afraid?”  That question echoes Barnard alum Anna Quindlen, who said that she majored in unafraid.  Don’t let your fears overwhelm your desire.  Let the barriers you face—and there will be barriers—be external, not internal.  Fortune does favor the bold, and I promise that you will never know what you’re capable of unless you try.”

So…what would YOU do if you weren’t afraid?

Happy Writing & Happy Reading! 

A Little Bit Of My Life Philosophy

I wouldn’t call myself a hard-line sort of person. Now don’t get me wrong, I have my convictions like most people.  Things that I believe in, things and/or people in my life that I could go as far as to say I’d be willing to give up my life for.  But I’m also a person who is open to listening, hearing and getting to the truth of the matter.

I think the fact that we’re here…sleeping, eating, walking around, screaming, laughing, scratching, and yapping about who knows what, and expelling random bodily sounds and smells at will, is thoroughly amazing.  I love life and I store great value in all living things.  

But before I can get to the meat of the matter and let you into my little world; I first need to introduce you to one of my ALL TIME favorite artists.  Now I may or may not have mentioned this in the past but I am a HUGE Seal fan. Why? You may ask...because he's BRILLIANT!! That's why.  And he expresses my views so well on writing, life, love and other shenanigans on this crazy planet of ours, in this song.  Love it. SO ENJOY! 

Seal "Get It Together" 

 (Sorry, video wouldn't post in the blog, but the link works!)

Happy Writing & Happy Reading!!!

Happy Father's Day!!!

I wanted to send a special Happy Father's Day out to all you fathers out there. And to send an even more special Happy Father's Day wish to my own dad (aka. Diddy). Being a father, I can only imagine, is probably a tough gig to take on, whether you're a veteran in the game or a new father or about to become a new father. And as the years pass and more and more of my friends become parents it’s clear that there is something special in taking on the responsibility of another life.

Growing up, I have to admit, I feel like I really was one of the lucky ones to have had both my mom and dad in the home throughout my childhood. And to have experienced a pretty happy, typical childhood with your standard sibling rivalries and other childhood shenanigans (that our parents still don't know about...well...they may have a clue now). But I always felt secure in the fact that I knew we would always be taken care of and loved, no matter how many times we "accidentally" set the yard on fire. (Sorry, M & D!).

But my dad was, and still remains to be, one of the hardest working men that I love, admire and deeply respect. Raised simple, and one of nine children, in a small Texas town on a country farm (where I too was briefly raised shortly after entering this world).  He always strove to be a man of his word, of good standing and of honor.  And a man who felt a strong desire to instill those same values in his own children, along with a solid sense of morals and a hard work ethic that I still live by to this day and hope to pass on to my children someday. But more often then not he taught these principles by simply letting his actions lead and speak for themselves, working hard to prove that he was more than just a man who talked, but that he was a man who sought to practice what he preached.

Though at times when it seemed he was too tough or just seemed to push us when it felt like we couldn't go any further...its only in looking back that I realize how very powerful an impact he had not only on my life but the lives of so many others around him. Even now he has a way of seeing the world that sometimes leaves me speechless. He's a simple man who had a simple plan...and he achieved all the dreams he set for himself (and still strives to make and conquer more). He was a hard working God-fearing man, a dedicated father, a provider who welcomed all, a successful business man, and a husband to the quirky God-fearing woman he'd always dreamed of spending his life and raising his children with.  A true success story in my eyes.

He taught me that even though there are no guarantees in life and that life is sometimes simply hard (which he will tell you from experience). He also believed that there is no shame in failing if you truly tried and gave it your best. Because often when one door seems to be closing, its only because another one is ready to be opened.

BOTH my parents have always been two of my biggest supporters and fans in this journey of mine to achieve my life goals and dreams. Always there with a word of encouragement, I know that no matter what happens, they will still be there rooting for me through whatever adventure I take on next. So with that being said...love you mama! And Diddy, I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!  Thank you for all you've done and sacrificed for me over the years and wish I could be there to celebrate this day with you!

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!!!

And the EPIC adventure continues...

WARNING: This post may be at risk of being really gushy and ultra girlie.

So I'll be honest and say I'm gonna be a real girlie-girl about this, and so with that being said, TODAY'S MY 4TH YEAR WEDDING ANNIVERSARY!!!  WEEEEEEEEEE!!! We've survived! (And I really wanted to get this guy to perform our ceremony, but he was all booked up. JK! Love you Karl!)

Whew! Okay that felt really good.  Haha! Today marks four years of marriage for my hubby and I.  Which translates to four moves, numerous guinea pig meals (stopped counting after month one), disaster home-improvement incidents, gaffe gifts (anyone want a blender), arguments, triumphs, goals met, promotions, trips, moments that made us cry (both good and bad), loss of loved ones, new friendships, new life (I love da babies), wedding showers, baby showers, weddings and of course the list could go on and on...ISN'T LOVE GRAND!  But in all seriousness, and despite my joking, marriage has been one of the most fulfilling aspects of my life.  I'll be the first to admit that its not always a bed of roses, but it definitely makes the adventure much sweeter when you have someone there holding your hair after bad Chinese food, or rubbing your feet after a long day of work.  

I've always been the rather scatter-brained-off-the-wall-sorta-artsy-fartsy type with a rebel streak that runs a mile high.  But marriage has managed to change absolutely none of those things about me.  Which may only go to show that love truly is blind OR (possibly) in my husband’s case, mentally damaging. :-/ (Just Kidding).

But the point I'm trying to make and not quick enough, is that I'm so glad I chose this path.  (And for those of you who want to save your breakfast, lunch or dinner you can skip ahead to the cool movie clip, because here comes the gushy part.  Duck and cover.) 

I often stop to think about how so many parts of life are uncertain. And how there are really only a few major-milestone moments that we’re actually given the chance to choose our experiences.  Moments that allow us to really live up to our full potential or take us down the paths to becoming that better version of ourselves.  More importantly, I just wanted to say to my Mr. X (you know who you are) that I am truly lucky and blessed to have you, as my husband and best friend, on this adventure with me.

So as this EPIC journey that is my marriage continues, I looking forward to all the surprises and even the not-so-surprises to come (after all this is a real marriage).  So here’s to a LONG life full of royal goofs, random noises under the covers, awkward PDA moments, bad morning breath, inappropriate touching, beautiful progeny, epic family road trips, Griswald style family holidays, his and hers depends, gravity, and steamy magical nights of drool-worthy sleep after weeks of sleep deprivation with a newborn (TBA). ;-)

Love you baby!!!

PS - Being that I'm a self confessed movie addict, you guys must have known I wouldn't let an opportunity like this to go by without a special clip.  I offer this as a tribute to our special day. Enjoy!

The Princess Bride - "The Wedding"

 

Happy reading!